Accepting Who You Are

Self-Acceptance

by Phoenix

Accepting who you are.
That one sentence can be pretty scary!

Whether you’re LGBTQ+, short, thin, or a different race, ethnicity, family income, or faith than those around you, self-acceptance can be really hard.

Many of us are targeted for being different from others, even after being told to just be ourselves. For a lot of people, this is a huge and difficult topic to think and talk about.

But we should talk about it, because loving and accepting yourself for who you are is the first step in a wonderful and complicated journey to finding your true self. Once you accept who you are right now, it’s a lot easier to figure out who you might want to be one day in the future.

Here are some tips that help me in my journey to self-acceptance. I hope they help you as well!

Remember: Once you realize you want to fully accept yourself for who you are, a wonderful, long, and sometimes painful journey starts. This can take years to complete, but it’s worth all of the hardships that come with it. Once you accept yourself for who you really are, it’s a lot easier to help others do the same.

A simple strategy. Repeat to yourself, over and over, an affirmation like “this is who I am.” This can be out loud, in your head, or even writing it in a journal. Whatever way works. It may sound silly, but if you say it enough it can really stick in your head and impact the way you see yourself.

Stop and think, “Am I really being myself?”
You might discover that you’ve been hiding something about yourself. Maybe that’s the quirky way you dress, the favorite stuffed toy that you carry with you everywhere, the music you listen to, or something else. Whatever it is, putting it out into the open is a big step in embracing who you really are.

If you’re hurting, don’t be afraid to show it. I’ve often heard the advice to act like you don’t care, and then you’ll start not to. That’s true in some cases. But if you’re getting teased, mocked, or bullied — online or in person — pushing through and continuing to be yourself can be really, really hard. Keeping feelings bottled up can make you withdraw, which isn’t good.

Surround yourself with support. Being around people who love and care about you for who you are can help you see how amazing you are as a person. And don’t be afraid to talk to your friends if you’re having a hard time being yourself. They might have some good advice!

Everyone is different. If it takes you years to fully accept who you are, that’s okay. And if it only takes months or weeks, that’s okay too. Even if you don’t get to a point of 100% self-acceptance, that is also okay. You’re still amazing.

Last but not least: Remember that the world is full of amazing, diverse people, and everyone goes through the long, hard journey to full self-acceptance. Even if they don’t show it, we all have struggles, and we’ve all had trouble being and accepting ourselves. You’re not alone.

When I first realized that I was LGBTQ+, it took me a long time to fully accept that part of myself.

Not because I wasn’t accepted by my community, or because I didn’t want to be LGBTQ+.

It was because, for years, I’d thought that
I was both straight and cisgender, and realizing that I wasn’t was a huge change. It took me almost two years to fully come
to terms with it.

I was able to accept this major change by not putting any pressure on myself to put any labels on my identity I also did a lot of journaling, talking to friends in the same situation as me, and doing a lot of thinking and self-reflection.

I got there! I am now very comfortable with my identity, but like I said, it took a while.

Being yourself is hard. Accepting yourself is even harder. But it is well worth the struggle.

Phoenix, 20, WI enjoys writing, among other things. When not writing, Phoenix enjoys pastimes such as reading, theatre, and snuggling with their three pets. They hope this article is able to help those who read it.

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